Progress

For the first time in my life I am enjoying running. I am surprised to admit it but I would rather run right now than bike. Odd isn't it. Me! Running! Me! Enjoying running! Wha's up wid dat?

Last night I ran for an hour and just felt light and fast. I never feel light and fast on my bike. I feel fast and strong. In the water I sometimes feel long and strong but never light and fast. It's a fun sensation. I love it.

I think part of it is because I am allowing myself to relax and just lean into my run. I am enjoying running at night too. It's nice to do that at the end of the day. It's a great way to wrap up the day.

I am also slowly discovering my fitness again. My body is changing. My muscles are becoming more apparent again and I a quick step again and a huge amount of energy. It's good to feel that returning.

I have been doing alot of thinking about running lately. I have a hard time psychologically psyching myself up for a marathon. When it's part of an Ironman I can do it but just the marathon is difficult. I think it's for a couple reasons. In a triathlon, I get a chance to feel like I am faster and stronger than others in the swim and bike that the run isn't so psychologically difficult. But when I just run I never feel like I really belong or excel (although I hope that will change in the near future).

The other thing is that I am enjoying being injury free. I keep thinking about Gordo Byrn's picture of turning a styrofoam cup inside out. It has to be done slowly. That's what I feel like with running right now. I am increasing my frequency and intensity but not so much the duration right now and I feel fabulous. Can you truly do all three at the same time and stay injury free. I remember getting up in the mornings and barely being able to walk the next day. I remember the pain in my knees the day after a long run. I don't miss that stuff. I want to be able to run long but I also want to be able to run long comfortably. That's my goal now. To increase my duration frequency and intensity while remaining pain free (or minimal pain). Somehow I think maybe you can do this and not abuse your body.

The other thing I have been pondering is why am I feeling such an improvement in my running right now. I think it is a few things:

• I have decided to just let go and relax and quit trying so damn hard at it.
• I relax more when i run
• My nutrition feels like it is right in balance. I am losing weight but at a comfortable speed. Before I would starve myself. I think that really effected my recovery. Now I'm trying to do enough but not too much. It's good.

Balance

I think I did a pretty good job balancing things yesterday as well as starting to change some of our patterns. Last night was date night and instead of going to dinner and movie I rode out to Women's Forum and had Cate meet me there with a picnic dinner. We hung out there at the overlook enjoying the view and then drove up to Larch Mountain and walked out to the viewpoint there.

It was a good way to end the day. I got in 8 hours of work and 3 hours of working out, time with the honey and time with e'llee. A perfect day!

Long Term Goals

Life Long Athlete
Ability to keep up with E'llee and her activities until I'm 80 (I figure at that point I'll have an excuse)
2011 Train and compete in another Ironman
Maintain healthy lifestyle
Maintain healthy weight

2 hour ride

Today I went for a quick ride down Marine Drive and back for about 2 hours. I am trying to learn how to balance my training with being mom at the same time. I had a hard time convincing myself that it was OK for me to go out for a bike ride today. I timed it with E'llee's nap which was perfect. After she fell asleep I went out for a ride. I was taking a shower after my ride when she got up. Perfect timing!

For longer rides I'll probably go early in the morning, when it gets a bit warmer and just miss morning time with her.

This weekend my goal was to get in my workouts, and eat controllably. I definitely got my workouts in and did pretty well with my eating even with going out this morning for breakfast. I ate until I felt satisfied. I do admit that I wouldn't eat the scramble again because it didn't feel good in my stomach long term. So next time I'll try something else. Tonight I seem to be needing to replace more calories because I had an early dinner after my ride and have had a couple snacks since. I have been also drinking lots of water to give me a full feeling.

So overall a good weekend. Nice and balanced I think.

Tomorrow is date night so I'm going to have to figure out my intent for that.

A New Start

Last weekend I took the plunge again into the world of triathlon. It was an Olympic distance triathlon which is about 25% of a Ironman triathlon. Yet I was scared because my life has changed alot since my last Ironman.

I had fun! I did my normal performance and just enjoyed the experience of being in my body and trying to do something challenging. It was good being back in the triathlon world. I have felt so far away from it recently.

I have been contemplating doing a 1/2 Ironman this year but again was afraid. Today I took the plunge and signed up for the Black Diamond 1/2 Ironman in Enumclaw on September 27.

So now I'm trying to figure out my goals.

I have been listening to a podcast called Outside In Weight Loss and the one I listened today had a section on wanting to get back to your "old" self. That this is not only impossible but that it isn't truly the goal. Because even though in August 2007 I was 25 lb lighter than I am today and stronger and faster but that's not my goal. I may want to get down to that weight and have that feeling of strength and speed again but that I do not want to be in that t aspace that when under stress I fall back onto my poor eating habits and use that as my stress release.

I know these past two years have been very stressful. Just to review here is everything that Cate and I have been going through:

1. From June 2007 - April 2008 trying to work with Steph to become a mom and more and more taking on the primary caretaking of E'llee
2. October 2007 - Hit by a car and having to take a month off of training because of an injury
3. November 2007 - Start of remodel trying to get house emptied out and ready for a major remodel
4. December 2007 - We get rid of stove and most of kitchen stuff to prepare for kitchen remodel. We end up living without a kitchen and stove for almos
5. December 2007 - May 2008: Fighting with remodeler to get work done until he finally quit the job in May 2008 after we had paid $100,000 to him and only have about $20,000 worth of work which we later found that all but the foundation had to be redone.
6. January 2008 - May 2008 - Cate's nephew Matt moves in with us and stays for an unnegotiated 5 months in a house that is torn apart.
7. April 2008 Steph runs away to Canada and we tell her she cannot return and we start the adoption process of E'llee
8. April 2008 - June 2008 - Struggling with Steph's ambivalence of feeling about us adopting E'llee
9. July 2008 - Present - Ongoing CCB struggles to get $$ back.
10. Feb 2009 - May 2009 _ Remodel