Birthday Lessons

Today I think was a day of lessons for me. I determined this after my lesson with Laurie so here is my wisdom of the first day of my 38th year.

• To truly move more freely through the world (my intention for this year) I need to change more than just my weight.
• To move more freely through the world I need to not be so afraid of "revealing" myself. Today I took some chance I normally wouldn't. I let myself feel the emotion of my mom calling and singing happy birthday to me. I started crying because I am afraid it is the last time I will hear my mom do this. Whether that is true or not it did make me realize how much I love my mom and how important she is to me. I know this but don't let myself feel how scared I am about all this heart stuff she is having right now.
• To move more free through the water I need to let go of my old ways. I need to let go of my ego and do things differently. To change I've got to try to do something differently. So now my goal during swimming is to swim effortlessly instead of trying to make the interval and that if that means sitting some 50s out every now and then it is the right thing to do. I felt it again today. I felt the right balance the ease of moving through the water. All that stuff. My stroke count was also only 15 and my effort was minimal.
• To move more freely through the world I don't need to "protect" myself. I like it when people share things about themselves with me. I don't know why I "protect" myself by being removed from people. So my lesson is to relax and not worry about "protecting" myself. I don't know anyone in my life who would "hurt" me. As Audrey would say it's not serving me any longer so why continue to do it. Feeling and having vulnerabilities doesn't make me weak. As a matter of fact those things that have been the most difficult have given me strength to be who I am today.